The alternative to Failure

In follow up to yesterdays story, I found an article that strongly resonated:

“What would you have me do instead?

To the critic who decries a project as a worthless folly, something that didn’t work out, something that challenged the status quo and failed, the artist might ask,

“Is it better to do nothing?”

To the critic who hasn’t shipped, who hasn’t created his art, anything less than better-than-what-I -have-now appears to be a waste. To this critic who thinkg, progress should only occur in leaps, in which a fully functioning, perfected new device/book/project/process/system appears and instantly and perfectly replaces the current model.

We don’t need your sharp wit or enmity, please. Our culture needs your support instead.

Each step by any (and every) one who ships moves us. It might show us what won’t work, it might advance the state of the art or it might merely encourage others to give it a try as well.

To those who feel that they have no choice but to create, thank you.

----Awesome post by Seth Godin

Self worth?

Class was over. I got up with the kids to leave, when I  heard the comment made by a peer who decided to sit in that day "You really did not miss much at all. That was nothing great"  It was made loudly enough to someone who just came in, so that I heard it. I mean after all it was directed at me (the teacher of the class) with all intention of causing irritation/annoyance.

And without doubt, it did exactly that. Nay, it did more....I was upset and hurt. Upset because in that moment, I felt I failed. I felt I was worthless. I felt that all the effort I was taking - was all pointless. 

Words hurt, more than we give them credit for.

A cloud appeared over my head, and my usual cheeriness disappeared in an instant. The cloud followed me all day, leaving behind an aftermath of glumness, poor self-esteem and wanting to give up. Mind you, I am a masterful actress and despite the inner turmoil put up the best smile - but ever so often there was spill over!

That was until I had the thought " Why in heaven's name am I giving this guys so much air-time in my head? My self worth, in no means, is measured out by one person's opinion. Besides, the work I do, is not to earn praise, I do it because I want to and love to - in a way I think is best. I cannot fit into a niche someone else built for me. It would be the same as thinking Danush and Hugh Jackman needed to be exactly the same because they were actors. The two greats had their own ways and appealed to their own masses - I need to be the same"

In that instant I felt liberated and grounded.


NOTE: As a society, we are very adept at being critics but fail at giving support. Encourage the struggling artist, the young inventor, the girl who wants to change the world, or the guy who wants to be the next tom cruise. They need encouragement, not sniggering. Thoughts?

Gratitude

The morning started of with much chaos. I was running late for work, and I was thoroughly annoyed with the fact that no one else understood the gravity of situation. My sister still waddled around at a snail's pace, my mother was only just easing into her morning pooja and the maid was outside playing with the kittens. And all this exactly when I needed some help. Argh - what was wrong with them!?

I shoved some breakfast down my throat and left in a hurry - after telling everyone exactly how irritated I was. 

As I rode to my office, which is luckily about 40 minute away - I had a chance to cool down and reflect on what a douche I had been - for no real reason at all. My poor family was only trying to help me, but in my morning rage, all I could see was everything they were doing wrong. 

It was then that I noticed a little girl and her mother outside a shack on the streets. She was dressed in rags and her mother was wearing a torn yellow sari stained with dirt and grease. I watched them laugh as the mother combed the child's hair with a comb that had all together 4 teeth on it - that was happiness.

And here I was being fed hot breakfast in the morning, have an amazing home to stay in, a family that would do anything no matter how badly I treated them, friends that helped me whenever I was down, a job that payed me well and kept me happy, a bike to call my own - and I was being ungrateful.

What a 360 degree change in perspective. I decided to be more grateful and count my blessings. 

And i would like to start with being grateful for you, yeah you - who is reading this, Thank you for stopping by - it really really means a lot :)

I hate saying NO.

Especially when it comes to close friends, family and new opportunities. What's the big deal you might ask?

Well, for most of the time I feel like a juggler - running from one thing to another with absolutely no time to myself. I am always ticking off a mental list and figuring where I need to be next - or what I need to do next!

As I spoke to close friends, family and wise one's, I realised this was a problem a lot of people faced.

So in an effort to help myself, I created a little checklist of sorts -if something did not full fill all criterion, it was getting a big fat NO,  despite how hard it was to say those words!

1) Do I have the time to do this? To give it my 100%? Or am I just going to give it half-arsed attention and finish it?

2) Is it in alignment with my long term goals?

3) Is it helping me/people/community in ways better than what I am doing now?

4) Will I be adequately compensated for the attention and time I am taking away from my current project? (NOTE: Compensation does not need to mean money alone, it can mean skills, fun and learning too)

No does not mean you hate someone and want to create conflict - sadly though that's what most of us think.  Sometimes all it takes is an explanation as to why we said no, and a friendly tone of voice to make the other person understand.

What are your thoughts??

Breathe..

I have a confession to make. A big one.

Remember long long ago, not so long ago, but sometime ago ( ok enough with the long ago's) I did this Aah-maah-zing  interview with Adriano Zumbo - Patissier extrodinare, master chef hunk and food innovator?  

Well, two very interesting things happened on the day of the interview. I packed all my gear (i.e a pen, paper and my camera to record it all), wore my best clothes and found my way to Zumbo's store in Roselle, Sydney.  I stood outside the store and couldn't bring myself to open the front door. I had a million butterflies fluttering around in my belly and I was nervous wreck. 

"Breathe" I ordered myself - but to no avail. 

Now, being a seasoned actor - I put on my best smile, despite the million butterflies threatening to burst out of me, and walked in. His assistant Rose, very sweetly led me upstairs to meet the man himself. I shook his hand with my sweaty palms and sat down opposite him, trying to pull out the questions I had prepared. "Breathe" I ordered myself  again....but nothing was working.

I turned on my camera, hit the record button and asked him a whole bunch of questions. What happened on the next 20 was an absolute BLUR. I only know my time there had come to an end when he said "Would you like some Macaroons" 

"Yes Please" I think I said a bit too eagerly. I got a hand picked box of 6 macaroons, personally packed my Zumbo himself - and left feeling super Happy!!

I had just interviewed a really famous man, scored some free macaroons and achieved a personal goal. Yaay. 

I called for a cab, jumped in and turned my camera on to watch how the interview went ( since most of Q&A session was a blur). And Guess what I discovered? In my nervousness, I had hit the start button instead of the record button - I felt like a complete Dumbo.

Oh well, at least I had the macaroons to make me feel ok.